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My spite ballooned to the point that I created a fake Twitter account as a hot, fictitious hipster guy to flirt with myself in the hopes of making Eli jealous.
"Dear Laura, thanks for the excellent, disheartening essay you wrote about sober dating," an articulate stranger named Eli (not his real name) typed in an email to me.
Within a month, the tone of our exchanges changed from flirty to outright romantic.
I began constantly strategizing, trying to untangle the mixed signals he was sending.
While he wrote that I was "incredibly beautiful" and opined about our being together one day, he also mentioned ogling women on the street and repeatedly dropped just enough details about a very present ex he was "still affectionate" with to make my body clench with resentment each time he'd say her name.
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