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There were a lot more of these kind of lies, smaller ones: “I'm good with money.”“I love alone time.”“I am confident.”“I have learned a lot from my childhood.”These lies all have one thing in common: a lack of self-awareness.

Months later, once trust had been broken and I entered my too-long period of attempting to fix it from inside of it, Rooster would sometimes be able to admit (with lots of prompting) that these things were the things he to be, not the things he was.

Rooster isn't his real name, but you know that.

It's the name he told me was his high school nickname, because of Rooster Cogburn, John Wayne’s character in "True Grit." Later, in a moment of desperate truth spewing as a final attempt to regain trust, he admitted that he had given the name to himself.

Other times he would insist that he was those things, and so the fleeting nature of the insight began to feel more like an act. I then develop a power complex where I lose respect for him, because he appears to not have any interests or opinions, and eventually when I find a boundary that he cross, I have a reason to leave and cross it alone.


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